Building in Public: Sharing the Climb Before the Summit

The day I cut my hair

I’ll start with a confession: the first brave thing I did on my way back to myself, back in June 2024, wasn’t big. It didn’t involve a business plan, a bank account, or a bold announcement. It was a haircut.

For a long time I wanted to go short. I’d save photos of short styles and picture myself with them. But every time I got close, I talked myself out of it. I was in a relationship that wasn’t healthy for me, and somewhere along the way I’d started shaping myself around what someone else might like. My long hair felt like part of the version of me I was supposed to be for that person.

Then one day it clicked. I was already emotionally done, and I was deeply unhappy. The approval I was protecting wasn’t there anyway. So why was I still holding my own life hostage for it?

I cut my hair.

It sounds so small, and that’s exactly the point. That one choice was the first time in a long time I did something purely because I wanted it. Then I did another small thing. And another. Each one was a little vote for the real me, and each one gave me a little more courage for the next. I started taking my power back. Before, I’d given it away every time I bent to what someone else wanted. Now I was making choices my way, starting with my own body.

I didn’t wait until I felt brave. The haircut made me brave.

That’s what this blog is about. Not the summit. The climb, and the small, real steps that get us there.

Why I’m sharing the climb now, not after the summit

Most of the success stories we see are told from the top of the mountain. The business is already built. The money is already in. The glow-up is complete. And while those stories can be inspiring, they can also leave us feeling further behind. We see the finish line, but not the messy middle where the real work happens.

I’m an author, a model, a creative, a wife, and a mom. I’m also a woman who works a 9-to-5 and is building her way toward a life of creative and financial freedom. I’m not there yet. And I’ve decided I don’t want to wait until I “make it” to start sharing my journey and helping other women.

Here’s why.

Because you deserve to see the middle. When I wrote my first book, I was stable, but I still lived with a constant worry about money. Stability alone didn’t give me peace. Now I’m building toward more: more freedom, more peace, more time doing what I love. I’m proof that you can be in progress and still be moving. You don’t have to have it all figured out to be worth listening to.

Because I’m the only one who can tell my story. I’m not a doctor or a therapist, and I won’t pretend to be one. What I have is lived experience. I’ve walked through hard seasons and kept climbing. When I share research in this blog, it’s to back up what I’ve lived, not replace it.

Because building in front of you keeps me honest. Saying my goals out loud and showing my real steps holds me accountable. And I hope it gives you permission to start yours, today, as you are.

Because I want more than “here’s my book.” My book matters to me deeply. But I want to give you something fresh every week: real stories, real tools, and real encouragement that meets you wherever you are.

What the research says about starting before you’re ready

My haircut moment felt personal, but it turns out science backs it up. Three ideas changed how I think about starting.

1. Small wins create big momentum

Harvard Business School professor Teresa Amabile and psychologist Steven Kramer studied nearly 12,000 daily diary entries from 238 people. They wanted to know what actually keeps people motivated. Their answer, which they called the Progress Principle, surprised them: the most powerful boost to motivation and mood was simply making progress on meaningful work, even small progress. (Harvard Business School Working Knowledge)

Amabile pointed out that big breakthroughs are rare, but small wins can happen regularly when you break a goal into manageable pieces. That’s why my content calendar is one small task a day. One blog post. One photo. One video. One haircut.

What this means for you: You don’t need a giant leap. Just take a step today, and then another one tomorrow.

2. Courage requires vulnerability, with boundaries

Researcher Brené Brown, who has spent years studying shame, courage, and vulnerability at the University of Houston, defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. She argues it isn’t weakness. It’s where courage begins. (Psychology Today)

But here’s the part I love most: Brown also teaches that vulnerability isn’t the same as oversharing. It’s about the quality and intention of what you share, not the amount. Building in public doesn’t mean putting your whole life online. It means showing up honestly, with boundaries. (More on that below.)

What this means for you: You can be brave and private at the same time.

3. Fresh starts are real, and you can create one

Wharton professor Katy Milkman and her colleagues discovered what they named the fresh start effect. People are more motivated to pursue goals at moments that feel like new beginnings: a new year, a birthday, a new month, even a Monday. Gym visits, goal-setting, and searches for the word “diet” all spike around these dates. (Penn Center for Health Incentives and Behavioral Economics)

The researchers also noted that you can create your own turning point. Something as simple as buying a new jacket can mark a new chapter. (Psychology Today) For me, it was a haircut.

Milkman is also honest about the limit: a fresh start is only a start. It helps you begin, but it doesn’t guarantee the habit sticks. (Freakonomics Radio) That’s why the small daily wins matter so much. The fresh start opens the door, and the small wins keep you walking through it.

What this means for you: Don’t wait for January. Pick a day, mark it, and begin.

Where I am on the climb right now

Since I’m building in public, here’s my honest progress report.

What I’ve already done:

• Published my book, Unlimited Faith. It started in a season of uncertainty, and it’s proof that I can finish what I start.
• Hired a business coach. We meet every other week. Having someone hold me accountable has been one of the best investments I’ve made. I learn so much from other people, their stories, and our conversations.
• Rebuilt my website so it’s ready to be a home for this community.
• Built a simple, repeatable plan for creating content: one small step a day.

What I’m working on now:

• Writing this blog, starting with this very post.
• Getting back into modeling. It’s one of my favorite creative outlets, and new shoots start this month.
• Sharing on Pinterest, Instagram, and YouTube so this message can reach the women who need it.

What freedom looks like for me: peace, joy, time with my family, and the ability to say yes to the things I love without worrying about money. I’m keeping some of my personal goals and plans private, and I’ll explain why next. But the feeling I’m chasing is one I think you’ll recognize: freedom.

Nothing on this list is glamorous. That’s exactly the point. This is what the middle of the climb really looks like.

Building in public with boundaries: you don’t have to share everything

When people hear “building in public,” they often picture someone posting every detail of their life. That’s not what I’m doing, and it’s not what I’d recommend for you either.

I’ll share the lessons, the wins, the setbacks, and the tools. I won’t share every plan, every number, or every detail about my family. Some things are meant to be protected, and keeping them private is part of living a healthy life.

I’ll also be honest about some hard seasons in my past, including a relationship that wasn’t safe for me. When I talk about those experiences, my focus will be on what I learned and how I healed, not on anyone else. I’m not here to tell a story of bitterness. I’m here to tell a story of freedom.

If you’ve lived through something similar, I want you to know it’s real, it’s more common than most people think, and you’re not alone. In a 2023/2024 national survey, the CDC found that more than 1 in 3 women in the U.S. have experienced physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. Nearly 1 in 3 have experienced psychological aggression from a partner. (Safe States Alliance summary of CDC NISVS data)

If you’re in an unsafe relationship right now, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline any time at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.

Here’s a simple boundary filter I use before I share anything:

1. Does this help her? If sharing it won’t help the woman reading, I don’t need to share it.
2. Is it mine to share? My story is mine. Other people’s details are theirs.
3. Have I healed enough to tell it? I share from a scar, not an open wound.
4. Am I telling it with love? Even hard stories can be told with grace.

You can use this filter too, whether you’re posting online or just deciding what to tell a friend.

Try this: find your own “haircut moment”

Grab a journal or the notes app on your phone. This takes about 10 minutes.

1. Name the summit. Write one sentence about what you want your life to feel like. Not what it looks like, but how it feels. (Mine: peace, freedom, joy.)
2. Find what you’ve been putting off. List three small things you’ve wanted to do but keep waiting on. Think “cut my hair,” not “quit my job.”
3. Ask the honest question. Next to each one, write who or what you’re waiting on. Their approval? The perfect time? Feeling ready?
4. Choose your haircut. Circle the one you could do this week.
5. Mark your fresh start. Pick the day. Write it down. Tell one person you trust, or just do it, like I did!
6. Celebrate the small win. When you do it, write one sentence about how it felt.

Then do it again next week. That’s the whole secret. One small, brave, honest step at a time.

I’d love to hear what your haircut moment is. Share it in the comments or tag me when you take your step.

Faith for the climb

I named my book Unlimited Faith because I’ve learned that faith isn’t waiting until the path is clear. It’s taking the next step while it’s still foggy, with an abundance of faith.

The haircut story isn’t in the book. I only realized how much it mattered recently, while talking with my business coach. But it carries the same message that runs through every page: you can trust God, trust yourself, and move before you have all the answers. Every big change I’ve made started with one small act of faith.

If this post spoke to you, Unlimited Faith goes deeper into how I learned to believe in what I couldn’t see yet and keep going anyway. Get your copy here.

And if you’re not ready for a whole book, that’s okay too. Start with the exercise above. Come back next week for the next post. I’ll be here, climbing right alongside you.

With love and unlimited faith,

Dorothy

Frequently asked questions

• Question: What does “building in public” mean?
  Answer: It means sharing your journey toward a goal while you’re still working on it, not just after you’ve reached it. You show the progress, the lessons, and the setbacks so others can learn and grow alongside you, through videos, blogs, and social posts.
• Question: Do I have to share everything to build in public?
  Answer: No. Brené Brown’s research makes a clear distinction between vulnerability and oversharing. You decide what’s helpful to share and what stays private. Boundaries protect you and your family, and they keep your sharing healthy.
• Question: What if I’m not ready to start?
  Answer: Most of us never feel fully ready. Research on the Progress Principle shows that small steps forward build motivation, so readiness often comes after you start, not before. Pick one small action you can take this week.
• Question: How do I handle negative comments?
  Answer: Remember who you’re showing up for. Not everyone will understand your journey, and that’s okay. Focus on the women you’re helping, don’t argue with critics, and protect your peace by limiting what you read or watch. And surround yourself with supportive people.
• Question: What is the fresh start effect?
  Answer: It’s a finding from Wharton professor Katy Milkman and her colleagues: people are more motivated to pursue goals at moments that feel like new beginnings, such as a new month, a birthday, or a Monday. You can also create your own fresh start with a meaningful personal moment.
• Question: How can I share hard parts of my past without sounding bitter?
  Answer: Focus on your own growth rather than on the other person. Share from a place of healing, not fresh pain. Tell the story to help someone else, and leave out details that aren’t yours to share.

Sources

• The Progress Principle, Harvard Business School Working Knowledge
• Brené Brown’s Netflix Special Busts Six Vulnerability Myths, Psychology Today
• Q&A with Dr. Katy Milkman, Penn CHIBE
• Why We Form New Year’s Resolutions, Psychology Today
• Are You Ready for a Fresh Start? Freakonomics Radio
• CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, Safe States Alliance