How to Find Your Purpose When You Feel Stuck: A Guide for Women Ready for More

Do you ever lie in bed at night and think, “Is this really it?” If you’ve been wondering how to find your purpose, you’re not alone.

You’re doing everything you’re supposed to do. You go to work. You take care of everyone. And you keep showing up. But something inside you keeps whispering that there’s more for you.

I know that whisper well. And if you’re hearing it right now, I want you to know something first: feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re ready to grow.

In this guide, I’m sharing how I went from feeling completely stuck to rebuilding my life, plus 7 simple steps to help you find your purpose one small step at a time. You don’t have to change your whole life today. You just have to start with one thing.

My Story: From Stay-at-Home Girlfriend to Nearly Six Figures in 8 Months

Years ago, I was a stay-at-home girlfriend in a relationship that didn’t serve me. I had no job, no resume, and no real work experience since high school. I was raising my son, and I felt stuck in every sense of the word. Stuck in my relationship. Struggling financially. Living a version of my life that I knew wasn’t the one I was meant to live.

But I made a decision: I was going to change my life.

I studied. Then I applied. Next, I stepped back into the workforce, and within 8 months, I was making nearly six figures. I moved into my own place, built stability, and created a life for my son and me that felt safe and free.

However, that didn’t happen because everything magically fell into place. It happened because I stayed locked in on the vision and kept taking action, even on the days I didn’t feel like it.

It all boils down to two things: your mindset about the goal, and the consistent actions you’re taking to achieve it.

From my book Unlimited Faith

And I’ll be honest with you about something else. Financial stability matters a lot to me. For years, I put my dream career on the back burner because I needed that security. I’m only now going after the creative work I always felt called to do: writing, modeling, and creating content that helps women like you. So if you feel like you’re “late,” you’re not. I’m right there with you. In fact, I’m sharing that journey as it happens in my post Building in Public: Sharing the Climb Before the Summit.

Why You Feel Stuck (And Why It’s Not a Failure)

Feeling stuck in life can look different for everyone, but it often shows up like this:

• You’re going through the motions, and every day feels the same.
• You keep comparing your life to everyone else’s.
• You know you want “more,” but you can’t name what “more” is.
• You’ve put everyone else first for so long that you’ve lost track of what you want.
• You’ve found yourself typing “what to do with my life” into Google late at night.

Here’s what I’ve learned: stuck usually happens after life has asked you to survive for a while. Paying the bills, raising kids, getting through a breakup, a job loss, or a hard season. Survival mode is real, and it doesn’t leave much room to dream.

But at some point, you get to choose what happens next.

I had a choice: to stay stuck in what I didn’t get or to rise with what I had.

From my book Unlimited Faith

Sometimes, what feels like being stuck is actually a quiet season. A pause that’s getting you ready for what’s next.

Slow doesn’t mean stuck. Stillness doesn’t mean stagnation.

From my book Unlimited Faith

Why Finding Your Purpose Matters

Purpose isn’t just a nice feeling. In fact, research shows it can affect your health, too.

A study published in the journal Preventive Medicine followed more than 13,000 Americans aged 50 and older. People with the highest sense of purpose had about a 15% risk of dying from any cause during the study, compared with 36.5% for people with the lowest sense of purpose. And the protective benefit was stronger in women. (Source) So if you’ve ever wondered whether it’s worth the effort to find your purpose as a woman with a full plate, the research says yes.

Other research from Washington University in St. Louis found that people with a higher sense of purpose tend to make healthier lifestyle choices and feel better about their own health. (Source)

In other words, finding your purpose isn’t selfish. It’s a form of self-care.

How to Find Your Purpose: 7 Steps for When You Feel Stuck

1. Ask Yourself What You Actually Want

This sounds simple, but most of us have never truly asked. We’ve been told what to want by our families, by social media, by the people around us. When I finally left the life that wasn’t working for me, the biggest shift was this:

I started asking: What do I actually want? And for once, I gave myself permission to go find it.

From my book Unlimited Faith

Grab a notebook and answer these questions without editing yourself:

• If no one would judge me, what would I try?
• What did I love doing as a little girl?
• What do people always come to me for help with?
• What would I do even if no one paid me?

Don’t worry about having perfect answers. You’re just getting reacquainted with yourself.

2. Clear Out What’s Draining You

It’s hard to hear your purpose when your life is full of noise. In my book, I call this “cleaning the house,” and I don’t just mean your kitchen counters.

Take an honest inventory of your life: the people you spend time with, the accounts you follow, the music and shows you consume, your habits, your spending, even the way your home is set up. For each one, ask yourself: Does this support the woman I’m becoming?

Once you’ve done that, start small. Clean out one drawer. Unfollow five accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. Say no to one invitation that drains you. Every little bit of space you clear makes room for clarity.

What you keep keeps you. And what you release, frees you.

From my book Unlimited Faith

3. Raise Your Standards for the People Around You

If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: know your standards, especially when choosing a partner.

When I was younger, I was following a more superficial lifestyle instead of just being myself. That meant I looked for the wrong things in people, and I settled for less than what I genuinely wanted. Don’t be afraid to know what you want and go after it. There is someone out there who will match it.

And this isn’t only about romantic relationships. It’s about everyone and everything you let into your life: friends, family, coworkers, even the content you scroll through every day. If it’s discouraging you, if it isn’t supporting your growth, if it doesn’t make you feel better, you don’t have to listen to it.

As a result, good people around you make your purpose so much easier to find, and so much easier to keep.

4. Notice What Lights You Up

Your purpose often hides in the things that make you feel most alive. For me, it’s helping women. When I share something I’ve learned, whether it’s in a blog post, a YouTube video, or a TikTok, and a woman tells me it helped her, I feel it in my whole body. That’s how I know I’m on the right path.

For one week, pay attention to the moments when:

• Time flies and you forget to check your phone
• You feel energized instead of drained
• You catch yourself smiling for no reason

Next, write those moments down and look for patterns. Your purpose is usually hiding in plain sight.

5. Take One Small Step You Can Control

This is the step I want you to remember most.

When you feel stuck, look at one thing you can control that you want to do, and take one little step toward it. Just one. Then follow through. When you do, it creates a positive change in your life or in how you feel, and that makes you want to do more of it.

There’s research behind this, too. Harvard Business School professor Teresa Amabile and her team analyzed about 12,000 daily diary entries from 238 people. They found that making progress on meaningful work, even small wins, was one of the biggest boosts to how people felt and how motivated they stayed. (Source)

Your one small step could be:

• Taking a 10-minute walk
• Writing one page of the book you’ve been dreaming about
• Signing up for one class
• Posting that video
• Going to bed 30 minutes earlier

It doesn’t have to be a huge life decision. One little thing can make a big difference, and you’ll notice that one positive change.

6. Have the Guts to Go For It, Even When You’re Scared

For a long time, I didn’t have the guts to pursue my dream career. I’m doing it now, and I wish I’d started sooner. If there’s something sitting in your heart, keep having the guts to go after it.

After all, fear is normal. It doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path. It usually means you’re about to grow.

The fear you feel? It’s just the threshold between who you are and who you’re becoming. Walk through it.

From my book Unlimited Faith

Have faith in yourself. Picture the life you want and act like it’s coming. And surround yourself with people who believe in you.

7. Be Patient With Your Season

Finding your purpose isn’t a one-day event. It’s something you uncover, layer by layer, by trying things and paying attention to how they feel.

Some seasons will feel exciting, while others will feel slow and quiet. Either way, both are part of it.

Sometimes your “boring” season is actually your breakthrough in disguise.

From my book Unlimited Faith

Try This: The Wheel of Life Exercise to Find Your Purpose

If you’re not sure where to start, the Wheel of Life is one of my favorite tools. It helps you see where your life feels full and where it feels empty.

Here’s how to do it:

• Draw a circle and divide it into 8 slices, like a pizza.
• Label each slice: Career, Money, Health, Relationships, Family, Personal Growth, Fun, and Home.
• Rate how satisfied you feel in each area from 1 to 10.
• Look at your lowest score. That’s where to take your one small step this week.

Want to make it even easier? Grab my free printable Wheel of Life worksheet. It includes the wheel, a simple scoring page, and prompts to help you choose your one small step.

What to Do If You Still Can’t Find Your Purpose

If you’ve tried these steps and still feel lost, please be gentle with yourself. Here are a few things that can help:

• Give it time. Purpose often shows up through action, not thinking. Keep taking small steps.
• Talk to someone you trust. A friend, mentor, or coach can often see your gifts more clearly than you can.
• Get support if you need it. If feeling stuck comes with constant sadness, hopelessness, or trouble getting through your day, please reach out to a doctor or mental health professional. There’s no shame in getting help.

You are not behind. You are right on time.

From my book Unlimited Faith

Frequently Asked Questions

You’re Already Becoming Her

If you’re reading this, you’re already doing the work. You’re asking questions. You’re looking for more. That’s where it starts.

Remember, you don’t have to figure out your whole life today. Just choose one small step, and take it. Then take another one tomorrow.

If this post spoke to you, my books go even deeper into finding your strength, letting go of what’s holding you back, and building the life you want.

I’d love to hear from you: what’s one small step you’ll take this week? Tell me in the comments below.

Sources

• Having a strong sense of purpose in life may help you live longer, study suggests (FOX 35, on a study in Preventive Medicine)
• For a healthier 2018, find purpose in life (Washington University in St. Louis)
• The Power of Small Wins (Harvard Business School Working Knowledge)